The Theme of Threes

3.1
Cliched and overly repeated statement of my current existence: "I don't know why they are called terrible twos when three is so much worse."

Never have truer words been spoken.  I want to repeat the Serenity Prayer while drinking a bottle of wine multiple times a day.  All of this from the sweet angelic face of my most favorite person in the whole world...  I am living in a bipolar world of happy giggle-fits and demonic tantrums and sometimes Ava joins in on these escapades with her mommy dearest.  Our life couldn't be written any better and a midst the boring chaos of time outs and play dates I always smile.  Sometimes more on the inside and after a few hours of reflection.

The theme of threes is driven right now by the "Terrible Threes".  Ava's sassy, independent, clingy and stubborn "stage".  It is the easiest way for me to identify any feeling of frustration I may have but it is the easiest to handle... There is another elephant looming in the room.


3.2
I am at the third company working in the fourth job of my adult life.  I have made a good career for myself and have progressed up "the ladder" with each job.  I have a diversified resume and am marketable in my line of work.  I am paid well and enjoy what I do 3 out of 5 days a week on average.  The next step of my career is a huge question mark lingering over my head.  My picture was projected onto a wall in a meeting with all of the people who hold my career in their hands and their peers.  Picture by picture they talk through who is deemed "promote-able" or not.  What this means to me is that I am afforded this huge question mark over my head rather than feeling like Humpty Dumpty on a wall.  How much responsibility do I want? How far is my climb before the careful balance I maintain shifts to a work-heavy travel-rich imbalance?  I am 31.  Am I at the beginning of the height of my career or straddling a plateau?  The uncertainty is less than motivating.


3.3
In the words of Aaliyah, "Age ain't nothin' but a number."  I have never given any thought to getting older or hitting "milestone" birthdays.  Turning 30 was easy.  Every birthday is just another reason to celebrate how truly awesome life is... How blessed I am to have a great job in a fun industry, a home to call my own, my little family of three, and great close friends and family.  Over the last couple of months things seem to be shifting.  There is a restlessness to my spirit.  There is a need for something bigger.  If only I could put my finger on it.  Like a sliver under my skin friends help search for an answer...

"Maybe its time to settle into a relationship?" Gag.  Instantly I feel claustrophobic.  Cohabitation sounds like so much work and so unsettling to my awesome set-up.
"What if you wake up one day and you find yourself feeling all alone without someone to share your life with?" Instantly my mind goes to sleeping in, waking up with a hot cup of coffee on my patio and doing yoga followed by a day of shopping and gardening.  Sounds wonderful.
"The more you tell yourself you like being alone the more your soul wants just the opposite." I was unaware that my soul and I were two separate entities with different wants and needs.  Thank you for the insight.

My mom is awesome.  She tells me that she thinks its great that I am happy being single and am a successful and beautiful woman that doesn't need a man to feel a sense of worth.  Sometimes, though, I wonder if she is using the same reverse psychology that I use on Ava to convince her to eat her dinner.  I still think she is awesome.


This blog has been brought to you today by the number 3 and the letter S.